Popcorn's Perception: My Reality/Your Reality 101

I picked up a book called How To Be Your Own Therapist, by Patricia Farrell. I don't give much credence to all of the therapy that goes on out there. I know there are some situations that warrant the help of a professional, but I don't think a hang nail requires the Mayo Clinic if you know what I mean, Vern. Honestly, I needed something to sit in the car and read while waiting on older kernel and this book was on the sale table. $6.98. Lo and behold she's a Ph.d and a therapist who downplays the need of a professional to help with most problems, hence the title of the book. So I began to read with vigor since she seemed to be refreshingly in my camp (validating my reality). Finally rounding the bend to the real point of this post is her discussion on how people "see" things. How we perceive our "reality" or what's right in front of our faces relationship wise, career wise, whatever wise. The way we "frame up" our life situations seem to pattern out in different ways from person to person. Many of us deny reality. We skew it. We bend and twist it. We look away from it and create our own reality more acceptable to our psyches. We learned this was a convenient thing to do when role models sent us mixed messages like: teacher says, "don't smoke" and we see teacher in his car dangling a cig out of the window. Mom says don't lie, but fibs about something to dad. Dad harps on sportsmanship, but punches the umpire at the little league game. See? Mixed messaging is a classic way to mix up kids. Kids grow up and the skill inadvertently taught was that it was ok to ignore what you want to and create your own scenario that you like better if that is more convenient at the time. Now, most of us do not do this to a horrific degree, but all do it to some degree. Would you agree? So since I read this, I have been ruthlessly scrutinizing my take on my world. Do I accept it as is, or do I edit away the hard down truth and then add back in more pleasing but blurred truths about myself, my circumstances, my children, my appearance, my on and on? Do you have obstacles preventing an accurate perception of your reality? She list some common obstacles as:

1.Sometimes reality makes no sense (and we can't accept that)

2.Facing Reality means admitting you were wrong. (too hard for some)

3.Others in your life continually enable you to avoid reality (it has become your dance and what maintains the dynamic of the relationship)

4.Facing reality requires recognizing reality first. ( must sort through lies you've told yourself)

***parenthetical comments popcorn's ***

This post is getting wordy, so that's enough for now.